Dealing with Remorse or Regret

Regret is the deep feeling of sorrow or remorse – usually due to past behavior or action. It is a negative energy that creates discontentment of the present moment and causes us to relive and replay a specific past event over and over. When we allow the feeling of regret to take over, we relive the nightmare, and thus hinder our full physical, psychological and spiritual potentials that the Almighty has given us.

In the Quran, the Most Gracious teaches us that regretting something we have done in the past is a waste of energy and can be detrimental to our well-being.  In 57:22-23, God tells us that every single thing on earth is under His full control. He says that anything that happens on this wonderful earth and to us has already been pre-determined and recorded —even before the creation. Because of this fact, God tells us that we should not grieve over anything that has already happened to us.

[57:22-3]  Anything that happens on earth, or to you, has already been recorded, even before the creation.

This is easy for GOD to do.  Thus, you should not grieve over anything you miss, nor be proud of anything He has bestowed upon you. GOD does not love those who are boastful, proud.

We learn from the Quran that harboring and holding onto the emotion of regret is a sign of non-submission to God’s will. A beautiful example is in 3:156:

[3:156]  O you who believe, do not be like those who disbelieved and said of their kinsmen who traveled or mobilized for war, “Had they stayed with us, they would not have died or gotten killed.� GOD renders this a source of grief in their hearts. GOD controls life and death. GOD is Seer of everything you do.

Another verse that resonates the same idea is 3:168 :

[3:168]  They said of their kinsmen, as they stayed behind, “Had they obeyed us, they would not have been killed.� Say, “Then prevent your own death, if you are truthful.�

3:156 and 3:168 teach us that those who do not submit to God’s will are the ones that say, “I should have done it this way,� or “if I have done it that way, this would have not happened� —forgetting that the Almighty Creator of the Universe is the One that willed everything to be the way it is meant to be at that moment and that time.

In verse 76:30 God tells us that no matter what the human being wills is purely under His Will:

[76:30]  Whatever you will is in accordance with GOD’s will. GOD is Omniscient, Wise.

It is vital to understand that regret is NOT the same as trial-and-error (or, what I call, positive regret). To negatively-regret something is to hold onto the remorse and shame of what has happened in the past and to relive it. Trial and error (positive-regret), however, is simply acknowledging a mistake that was done, learn from it, hope to do better next time by God’s Grace, and move on.

Cont’d on page 2